Saturday, May 10, 2008

witty one liners

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
Extraordinary: it is the "extra" that make us more than ordinary.
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. (Aldous Huxley)
Failure comes in two ways:
Those who do it without giving a thought.
Those who thought about it but do nothing.
Failure is nature's plan to prepare you for great responsibilities. (Napolean Hill)
Failure is no more fatal than success is permanent.
Failure is opportunity in disguise.
Failure is the only opportunity to begin more intelligently. (Henry Ford)

one liners quotes

Every good friend once was a stranger.
Every job is a self-portrait of the person who did it.
Every man dies; not every man really lives.(Braveheart)
Every man reaps what he sows, except the amateur gardener.
Everyone hears what you say,
Friends listen to what you say,
Best friends listen to what you don't say.
Everyone leaves footprints in you memory, but the ones that leave footprints in your heart are the ones you will truely remember. (Nicholas Sperling)
Everyone needs to be loved . . . especially when they do not deserve it.
Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength. (Hasidic saying)
Everyone wants to go to Heaven, yet no one wants to die.

love one liners

Perhaps love is the process of my gently leading you back to yourself
Romantic sayings by Antoine de Saint-Exupery

I know you think you broke my heart, but I knew your game right from the start. I saw your game, I can play it too, stupid player, the joke's on YOU! Love Quotes by Anonymous

The only feeling of real loss Is when you love someone More than you love your self. ~Source : Good Will Hunting's emotion love quotes

Love goes toward love. Romantic sayings by William Shakespeare

May they who love you be like the sun when
it rises in its strength. Love Quotes by Judges 5:31

That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....
~Source : Charles M. Schulz's emotion love quotes

hilarious one liners

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
Time is the best teacher; unfortunately it kills all of its students.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.
Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
What's the speed of dark?

great one liners

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken. (Warren Buffet)
Challenges can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. It's just a matter of how you view them.
Change your thoughts and you change your world. (Norman Vincent Peale)
Changing one thing for the better is worth more than proving a thousand things are wrong.
Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. (Abraham Lincoln)
Character is made by what you stand for; reputation, by what you fall for. (Robert Quillen)
Character is what a person is in the dark. (Dwight Moody)
Charity begins at home. Success begins at work.
Charm is getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. (Albert Camus)
Cheerfulness is contagious, but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a "carrier".

good one liners

Be thankful for problems. If they were less difficult, someone with less ability might have your job.
Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.
Better a good heart than a fair face. (Japenese proverb)
Better an end with pain, than pain with no end.
Better to bend than to break. (Indian proverb)
Better to light a candle, than to curse the darkness.
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt. (Abraham Lincoln)
Better to understand little than to misunderstand a lot.
Better untaught than ill-taught.
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.
Be who you are and say what you feel: because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. (Dr. Suess)
Be ye fishers of men, you catch them -- He will clean them.

funny jokes one liners

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have.
The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Finland. Now Santa Claus is missing.
The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

best one liner

Beautiful young people are acts of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I'm not one to judge.
Beauty is only skin deep...but ugly goes all the way to the bone!
Beauty is quite different from charm, beauty is what you notice in a woman, charm is when a woman notices you.
Be beautiful if you can, wise if you want to...
But be respected, that is essential. (Anna Gould)
Be bold in what you stand for; and careful what you fall for.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. (Mark Twain)
Be careful of the words you say.
And keep them soft and sweet.
For you never know from day to day.
Which ones you'll have to eat.
Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.

clever one liners

All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.
All sunshine makes a desert.
All that is necessary for the forces of evil to win in this world is for enough good men to do nothing. (Edmund Burke)
All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today and yesterday.
All the so-called "secrets of success" will not work unless you do.
All the treasure in the world is worthless, unless you have someone to share it with.
All your dreams come true, if you have the courage to pursue them. (Walt Disney)
A long dispute means that both parties are wrong.
A long life may not be good enough, but a good life is long enough. (Benjamin Franklin)
A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never.
A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

catchy one liners

A happy person is one whose arithmetic is at its best when they is counting their blessings.
A hard thing about business is minding your own.
A heavy burden does not kill on the day it is carried. (Kenyan Proverb)
A heavy snowstorm closed the schools in one town. When the children returned to school a few days later, one grade school teacher asked her students whether they had used the time away from school constructively. "I sure did, teacher," one little girl replied. "I just prayed for more snow."
A helping hand is no farther than at the end of your sleeve.
A helping word to one in trouble is like a switch in a railroad track . . . an inch between wreck and smooth, rolling prosperity. (Henry Ward Beecher)
A hole is nothing at all, but you can break your neck in it.

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Funny One Liners

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ass?
Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
Death is hereditary.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
Did anyone see my lost carrier?
Diplomacy is the art of saying good doggie while looking for a bigger stick.

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Famous One Liners

A good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help another up.
A good friend see the first tear, catches the second and stops the third.
A good marriage is like a casserole: only those involved actually know what goes into it.
A good match blows fire...
A good school is a community where children learn to live first and foremost as children and not as future adults.
A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible. (George Burns)
A good way to change somebody's attitude is to change your own.

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